Dealing with the Ups and Downs of Married Life

Appreciation is one of the components of Dr. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. People need to be appreciated to help them feel their self-worth.

Your husband is no different from other people. He needs appreciation too, just like anyone else.

Image credit: Cioux Casala

In fact, he might need your appreciation the most. Showing your appreciation need not be grandiose. You can show it through the simple little things you do for him. Here are incredibly simple ways to do this.

 Say Thank You

Say “Thank you,” for any favor he has done for you, no matter how small it is. Say it with a smile and a kiss or a hug.

It does not have to be a huge favor for you to say thank you. As we oftentimes hear people say: “It’s the thought that counts.”

Do Sweet Little Things for Him

Being sweet and thoughtful of your spouse is one way of showing your appreciation. Give him a backrub or a massage. Cook his favorite dish. Tuck a love note in his folder. Give him a gift even if there is no occasion.

Couple these with loving actions and you will not only show how much you care, but it would also revive the romance in your marriage.  

Be Lavish with Praise but Stingy with Criticism

No one is perfect not even you, so you must remember to focus on his good points and praising him for them. When you do not have an option but to criticize, then do it in a loving manner. Don’t say, “You’re wrong.” Say instead, “Honey, wouldn't it be good if …”  

Bring Back Romance to Your Marriage

Bringing back romance is also one way of showing he is appreciated. Tell him how much you admire how he works hard for the family and that you are lucky you have him. Bring back the things that you loved to do while you were newly-weds.

You may want to have week-end vacations without the children in your favorite place where you can talk and spend quality time with each other.  

Be a Good Mother to Your Children

By being a good mother to your children you are showing your husband how much you appreciate him for being a good father.

Don’t be shy to say outwardly how much you appreciate his being a responsible father and husband. These are only some ways of expressing your appreciation for your spouse.

You can be creative and devise your own method, because only you know what your husband would appreciate most.

Quotations on Life, Love, Wealth and Education

Guest Post by: LESTER TAGA CAPAS 

“To those who have the means to smile even without money, the world can be a paradise. But to those who can't smile even with all the luxuries of money, the world is colder than ice.”

“Rejection teaches us that it is better to be resilient and hope to find a door that will open for us; rather than standing in place and waiting for a door that will never open.”

Image credit: Kristel Erika Banasan/Regine Ballug

 

“The world is already full of brilliant people. Sadly it is also full of smart people, who use their intellect to conjure methods by which they can cheat and be above others; treating life as a competition, more than anything else, and straying from their maker. What the world really needs are kindhearted people, who know better than to worship money, vices and all that the devil uses in this world; kindhearted people who know the value of love and charity.”

“Love on command is impossible even if you forced someone to love other people - they can't. Love can only be suggested, you can teach people about how to love other people but in the end, learning how to love is still dependent on the willingness of their heart. In my opinion love is a mix of joy and sacrifice. It is not something I can give because society demands that I do so. Love is the one thing we can never wholly understand but in our heart we know how to do and value. You can trample my pride or drive me through mud I will forgive you. But the moment you betray my love I can only learn to forget you.”

“You never really know who is worthy of your love until you've given it. Any plan you make beforehand has as good a chance at working as it has of blowing up in your face. Sometimes you succeed sometimes you don't. Not giving up is just as valuable as knowing when to quit. To waste your life fighting for a love you cannot have is a waste of your breath, to give up on a love that could have been worth it is nothing but regret. The only true regret is never knowing what could have been if you decide it is impossible even before you try.”

“Sometimes love is like a bar of black chocolate. Bittersweet, makes you crave more with every taste but you know when to stop. Expensive but worth it, you will keep wanting it. Sharing it with someone else doesn't mean they will share it with you when they have and you don't. If you give it all away and leave none for yourself you will suffer until you save up for more. Having too much has consequences, bad for your health. Getting too little doesn't mean you will die. It's a good remedy when you're feeling blue. So always be thankful for the people, who - without strings or words - simply give it to you.”

“My dear I beg you, please be silent, just give it a rest. Don't tell me that love and forgiveness is what's best. You speak as if it was easy to love those who I detest. Because it wasn't you, who was stabbed in the chest.”

“Sometimes hatred is more justifiable and reasonable than love. You love even when you get hurt and refuse to let go even when you should. You love even when it is unrequited because love has driven you mad. Hatred on the other hand is simpler, you hate because someone hurt you deeply. And that pain has left a mark.”

“What is the point of speaking in riddles and making things sound complicated when you can easily simplify it and make yourself understood? Sometimes in trying to make yourself look deep and wise you end up being misunderstood. Speak plainly and you will be understood correctly.”

“Unrequited love breaks the heart. To be rejected dampens the spirit. To be wronged by someone else can shatter the body and mind. To be denied forgiveness wounds the soul.”

“A madman has little to no control over his actions; he is a prisoner of his own mind. A psychopath is free from his mind, humanly logic and reason. He does what pleases him simply because it, to him, is right. Lots of madmen and psychopaths in this world, most of them don't even know it.”

“Sometimes, with the worst situations come the best opportunities. Only those who tirelessly sift through the straw find the golden needle in a haystack.”

“For love to be effective it has to go in both directions, to and from. No matter how much love you pour into someone, if it is unrequited, it will only end in heartbreak. And there are no words that can justify the pain and tears of a broken heart, not even "sorry.”

How to Move On after a Break up

By: LESTER TAGA CAPAS

How indeed? Moving on is possibly the most difficult thing to do especially when you've fallen in and out of love for the first time.

The trend among young adults seems to be building their world around someone they love. When you're young it often seems like the end of the world when your heart is broken but that is not the most painful thing that can happen in your life.

When you occupy yourself with the regret of losing someone who you thought was the one, you are closing the door on many opportunities; opportunities to find someone better, opportunities to do something good with your life.

There is no sure fire way of teaching someone how to recover from a break up but here are some tips from someone who has bit the ground one too many times.

1. Seek comfort from your family and friends

It is annoying how sometimes parents will smudge your mistakes in your face but who is better to approach than people who know you for who you are?

Talking to your parents about your experience is not only a positive effort but a good try. If they ignore you then thank goodness you have friends! The worst thing you can do is keeping it in and holding back the tears hoping it will pass.

Let it out sooner so you can breathe in fresh air and one day, who knows? Perhaps you'll even laugh about it in a conversation with friends. "Remember how ugly you looked back then crying over? Hahaha".

2. Occupy yourself with positive thoughts

Watch a movie buy a cookbook do whatever you can to keep your kind off that nonsense. If you stay in a corner sulking you will move on much slower or not at all. Occupy yourself with things you can do that will benefit you.

Go to the gym try out for track and field. Never let your mind stay focused on what you have lost so you can keep your eyes set on what you can still gain.

If time is not on your side make it! You live only once, to worry about your hair turning grey is the least of your problems. Indulging in conversations is a good way of keeping fresh.

3. Acceptance It is never easy, never

But it doesn't mean that you have to live with it forever. Isn't it better if years from now both of you are somehow friends and you can talk without holding grudges.

Acceptance is always easier if you learn to love yourself before anyone else. People who lack self-love accept at a much slower pace if they ever even reach the point of acceptance.

Acknowledge that some of the fault may be yours. Eat it up. You're not perfect either.

4. Meet new people

The more people you meet and the more friends you make the higher your chances of finding someone new. Never use someone new to fill up old holes. Give them a new space in your life and do new things together.

Finding someone new to love will not be as easy if you have not accepted that the first time was not meant to be. You have to put your mind to it.

Remind yourself that someone who doesn't want you is not worth you and you will never be worth less than the value you give to yourself.

Find someone with a good sense of humor. It is rare to find people in complete packages so if you are to make a choice; a good personality is a safe bet.

5. Chocolates and a balanced diet

Self-explanatory, ok perhaps not. But still, if you want to keep your mind off a breakup may as well worry about Diabetes instead. Diabetes is permanent, break ups and heart aches are not. Diabetes has a costly maintenance heart break has none. Diabetes has no cure, heart aches only require a little love. Diabetes is a logical and serious threat to your life and health. Barely anybody has died from a heart ache.

 6. Don't be foolish and snap out of it

The last thing you want to do is do something stupid. Never do anything rash in the heat of the moment. You may not live to regret it. You have to open your mind to the possibility that perhaps it simply is not your time to meet someone who you will spend your life with. Don't cut your wrists that is not only stupid it is a means of inflicting pain that probably won't even get your ex to flinch one tiny bit.

7. Keep your heart open and your mind at peace

Never let the experience embitter your heart. Keep the door open but learn to kick people out when they obviously don't belong there. Sometimes you just have to pray and meditate.

Flowers bring color into this otherwise drab world.

There are red, violet, white, pin, yellow or orange flowers.

Flowers are God's gift to the world.

What would the world be without these beautiful and colorful flowers? Here are flowers of different colors and types.

Feel free to use them in your blogs and websites. Just credit this blog as the source. Thank you.

Short Story: No Ducks Allowed

By: LESTER TAGA CAPAS

The sound of thunder echoes throughout the mountains as Tata Manuel struggles to fortify the roof of his house.

"Rodel, get me more ropes!" He yells as his eldest helps him. "Accursed radio! They didn't say anything about incoming storms!" He curses as he struggles to climb the bamboo stairs.

Image credit: en.wikipedia.org

He wobbles, trying to balance himself with all the ropes he brought. His footing is slightly unstable but it rocks the weak stairs.

He reaches the top tiers when it collapses under his weight. He falls 10 feet onto a pile of firewood. The fall knocks him out and heavily damages his back and limbs.

The next morning he awakes, still dizzy. "Gem ge ge glass waarrr..." He struggles to speak but the fall seems to have damaged his central nervous system.

His wife cries beside him. "Manuel!.. Manuel! Oh Manuel! Where will we get the money to pay for your treatment Manuel!.." She sobs helplessly as she raises the glass of water to his lips. "Even if we sell the farm we won't have enough.... Manuel...what will we do now?"

Her Eight kids cry with her. The eldest sons volunteer to look for money but everywhere they looked, they just could not raise enough money.

News spread of the accident within the barrio when one day... "Knock knock! It's me Bong, let me in.."

"Answer the door marie." The mother says.

" Sylvia, what happened? Kumpare? What has happened to you??"Manuel struggles to speak but to no avail.

By this time he looked dry and helpless. "What will we do Bong? We don't have enough money to take him to the doctor and the nearest one is at least four days on carabao from here?"

Bong sat down in despair for a moment but then looked up with excitement. He holds Manuel's paralyzed leg and says "Kumpare, have you heard of Mang Teryo? Expert albularyo? He is only two days travel from here and he gets better results than any doctor can get you. Plus he is cheap!"

Manuel looks at his kumpare and shakes his head in affirmation. "Well then let us go! You will have your legs back kumpare! You will have your legs back!"

At the back of his mind " Good lord what have I gotten myself into now?" Manuel asks himself.

They take a two day trip on carabao going to the famed albularyo.

Bong looks at his kumpare and says "He moves from place to place and we are lucky that he is in town, he will be leaving again soon."

They reach an isolated place deep in the forest. The smell of incense suffocates the atmosphere and they see long chains of rat bones and small animals tied to the trees.

They see a small hut decorated with animal skulls and feathers fenced off with the long bones of cattle. "Albularyos do not have these in their homes? Are you sure we are in the right place Bong??"

Sylvia asks greatly irritatedly but then a small man with a Belly bigger than most of his body comes out of the hut.

He walks from side to side as if he were a Penguin. He is dressed in simple clothing and noticeably gasps for air from time to time.

"Mang Teryo?" Bong asks.

The figure lowers his eyeglasses and says "Yes".

"Bring the meal..I mean the patient in..".

Manuel's sons look at each other reluctantly but Bong ushers them to do as Mang Teryo says.

Inside the hut, there is a big table with beddings and Mang Teryo tells them to lay Manuel down on a prone position. He then scatters a foul smelling oil and some herbs all over Manuel.

"What is that for?" Rodel asks in a low voice.

"Oil , seasoning and dressing to prepare him for eati...relaxing.." Mang Teryo replies.

He orders the four boys to hold a limb each and stretch Manuel's body. They do as he says and he presses on the back causing it to crackle and he proceeds to push on the back of the neck.

Mang Teryo mumbles a little and then looks angry as he claims to have forgotten some words on the incantation. He grabs a bottle of brandy and gulps it down. He wobbles and approaches Manuel now fiercely reciting words that make no sense.

"He is speaking in latin." Bong tells Sylvia and she only looks on in a disturbed amazement.

"Where is the chicken?! " Mang Teryo yells in drunken rage.

They bring him a chicken and he snaps its neck pouring to blood into Manuel's open mouth. He tells them all to leave him and Manuel alone for the divination ritual which requires they be alone.

They leave and hear Manuel screaming in pain. They cannot see what is happening but Bong reassures them that it is all part of the curing process.

After half an hour or silence Sylvia can take no more and busts the door open to see Mang Teryo feasting on her husband. She screams in horror as the boys enter and restrain Mang Teryo.

His face has changed into a ghoulish figure. He easily overpowers them, when suddenly he is hit by a bag of salt and he falls melting to the ground.

The real Mang Teryo appears looking little different from the monster he had just killed, "That was an evil spirit pretending to be me."

Sylvia cries as she stares at Manuel's bones devoid of flesh.

Mang Teryo then looks at them with pity and offers a 4 percent discount on any future medication they may require him. If they can find him. The real Mang Teryo then walks on into the night leaving the grieving family wishing they had just gone to see the doctor.

How to Know If Your Spouse Still Loves You

No matter how situations are in your relationship there are words that you should never say to your partner.  Once you say things you can never get back the words.

Words are the most powerful weapon you can use against your partner. If you want your relationship to last, then you should avoid saying these hurting words.

“I regret the day I met you.”

When you say these words, you are saying so many things, such as,

“You’re nothing to me now,” “You’re unworthy,” and several negative interpretations, which are hurtful. Once you inflict this pain, the scar would always be there to haunt you for the rest of your life.

“You’re a slut.”

If you are a man, never say these words. This is an insult, as well as a slap. Not even a person who characterizes that adjective wants to be called as such.

You should never say these words because you are attacking the core of her being, her character. Talk about the situation and do not attack her character. Character is the only thing left for a broken-hearted woman.

“You’re a good for nothing …”

Again, in this sentence, you would be attacking your partner’s character. You are putting a label on your partner using a personal attack, which should not be the case.

Let go of personal insults, and talk about the situation or incidence, without degrading the morale of one another.

“You’re ugly.”

The day you say this to your partner means that you no longer love her/him, because couples who still love one another would see each other as the loveliest or most handsome person in the planet. Saying "you're fat" is also mean-spirited.

Attacking the person’s physical characteristics, because the outward appearance is a relative thing.

Persons may see things differently; what is beautiful to you may look ugly to some people, and vice-versa.

“I don’t love you anymore.”

Unless you mean it, never say these words, even in jest, because it is a direct declaration that would hurt the person you love, tremendously.

This statement is the end of the line for any relationship. Don’t say it, if you don’t intent to break off right after the words come out of your mouth. You can never take it back again.

If you value your relationship, these are the words you should never say. There are still several of these words; you just have to determine yourself what would hurt your partner or not, and follow your heart.

When you love a person, you would learn to say only loving words.

Learn to say "Thank you"  and "I love you" as often as you can. One pointer that you may want to remember is to be generous with praise but slow with your criticism.

Amazing Double Rainbow Pictures

Rainbows are Mother Nature's wonders. Looking at the rainbow is like viewing a miracle that can happen to you. There are several rainbow quotations that you can take note of: "At the end of the rainbow is a pot of gold." "Reach for your rainbows."

Image credit: From a student abroad

Image credit: From a student abroad