Monday, June 29, 2015

How to Move On after a Break up


How indeed? Moving on is possibly the most difficult thing to do especially when you've fallen in and out of love for the first time.

The trend among young adults seems to be building their world around someone they love. When you're young it often seems like the end of the world when your heart is broken but that is not the most painful thing that can happen in your life.

When you occupy yourself with the regret of losing someone who you thought was the one, you are closing the door on many opportunities; opportunities to find someone better, opportunities to do something good with your life.

There is no sure fire way of teaching someone how to recover from a break up but here are some tips from someone who has bit the ground one too many times.

1. Seek comfort from your family and friends

It is annoying how sometimes parents will smudge your mistakes in your face but who is better to approach than people who know you for who you are?

Talking to your parents about your experience is not only a positive effort but a good try. If they ignore you then thank goodness you have friends! The worst thing you can do is keeping it in and holding back the tears hoping it will pass.

Let it out sooner so you can breathe in fresh air and one day, who knows? Perhaps you'll even laugh about it in a conversation with friends. "Remember how ugly you looked back then crying over? Hahaha".

2. Occupy yourself with positive thoughts

Watch a movie buy a cookbook do whatever you can to keep your kind off that nonsense. If you stay in a corner sulking you will move on much slower or not at all. Occupy yourself with things you can do that will benefit you.

Go to the gym try out for track and field. Never let your mind stay focused on what you have lost so you can keep your eyes set on what you can still gain.

If time is not on your side make it! You live only once, to worry about your hair turning grey is the least of your problems. Indulging in conversations is a good way of keeping fresh.

3. Acceptance It is never easy, never

But it doesn't mean that you have to live with it forever. Isn't it better if years from now both of you are somehow friends and you can talk without holding grudges.

Acceptance is always easier if you learn to love yourself before anyone else. People who lack self-love accept at a much slower pace if they ever even reach the point of acceptance.

Acknowledge that some of the fault may be yours. Eat it up. You're not perfect either.

4. Meet new people

The more people you meet and the more friends you make the higher your chances of finding someone new. Never use someone new to fill up old holes. Give them a new space in your life and do new things together.

Finding someone new to love will not be as easy if you have not accepted that the first time was not meant to be. You have to put your mind to it.

Remind yourself that someone who doesn't want you is not worth you and you will never be worth less than the value you give to yourself.

Find someone with a good sense of humor. It is rare to find people in complete packages so if you are to make a choice; a good personality is a safe bet.

5. Chocolates and a balanced diet

Self-explanatory, ok perhaps not. But still, if you want to keep your mind off a breakup may as well worry about Diabetes instead. Diabetes is permanent, break ups and heart aches are not. Diabetes has a costly maintenance heart break has none. Diabetes has no cure, heart aches only require a little love. Diabetes is a logical and serious threat to your life and health. Barely anybody has died from a heart ache.

 6. Don't be foolish and snap out of it

The last thing you want to do is do something stupid. Never do anything rash in the heat of the moment. You may not live to regret it. You have to open your mind to the possibility that perhaps it simply is not your time to meet someone who you will spend your life with. Don't cut your wrists that is not only stupid it is a means of inflicting pain that probably won't even get your ex to flinch one tiny bit.

7. Keep your heart open and your mind at peace

Never let the experience embitter your heart. Keep the door open but learn to kick people out when they obviously don't belong there. Sometimes you just have to pray and meditate.

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