Friday, April 26, 2013

Random Thoughts: Some People La la la...

 By: Why Bee

It is said that the only thing permanent is change. I haven't lived that long a life but I've lived long enough to see people pass me by and change. Some of them I don't even think I know anymore. I sometimes stare at the grass and wonder how I grew apart from those I spent my childhood days with. Some of the people I used to know as sweet and simple are now daring and complicated some the opposite while a few never change.

A few days ago, I saw one of my favorite high-school classmates, she was dressed like any ordinary person going to church would but her face was still exceptionally beautiful. I was happy to see her after about 2 years of not seeing each other. I approached her even though she had a big entourage of friends and admirers. There I was, a small man in farmer's clothing coming near the center of attention and the people around had the expression in their eyes saying "Who are you little man?" To their shock she openly gave me a hug. She seemed very happy to see me too.

a few moments of talking to her and exchanging stories and the people around her mistook me for her uncle because of my mustache and the way I talked. I was beginning to think I wouldn't get home alive because of the way her admirers were looking at me. I was invited to come swimming them but I told her I was broke and can't pay for the resort's gate fee. Regardless of having no money with me at all, she gave me a free ride on her Van with her friends.

To clarify things she told them the long history we had together along with a few of our other friends. They laughed when they realized that we were merely good old friends, the girl I once knew as a sad and needing friend is now a beautiful flower admired by many.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Retrospection, Part 2: She left me her phone

By: Why Bee
Image Credit: Tiffany Manalang

During that agonizing one week stay I had at the hospital, I rarely had companions who were relatives. My mom would leave me her phone so I could contact her whenever I needed something like food etc. I was very choosy because my stomach got constantly upset because of the amount of Antibiotics being injected into my body. I had to clean up every time I vomit and I felt sorry for the nurses and midwife that cleaned my bedding daily. I couldn't help it as I was too weak to get up most of the time, going to the comfort never seemed more difficult to me.

I was very envious of the people who shared the room with me, they had their loved ones around. The room was air-conditioned. The cold temperature was unbearable in the morning especially because of the constant evening rains. Call me selfish but doesn't anybody else yearn for their loved ones when they're weak? I knew my little sister was sick at home too, I did get a visit from a few relatives once, I just wished they stayed through the night with me. I had to change the linen on my back by myself and change my clothes even with a dextrose on by myself but I always told myself these were little things I could do by myself.

I'm a grown up, at 20 years old I don't need the aid of people to look after me when I'm sick, that's what I kept telling myself. It was hard breathing since water was accumulating inside my right lung, the diuretic made me urinate a lot and forced me to go to the comfort room frequently, the dextrose was like a cross I had to carry around. the person watching over my Room-mate offered me help from time to time and my temperature was at a constant 39.8 degrees or more, reaching 40.3 I could barely stand.
It was that cold night when I was expecting my mom to stay with me at the hospital because I was feeling really weak.

She left me her cellular phone so I could contact her. She did come during the afternoon, I asked her to buy Oats since it seemed like the only thing I could digest , my stomach would vomit anything else I ate. I was waiting for her for some time to come back from the store, but she didn't come. I sent her a message asking her where she was but she would not reply. I had a feeling she went straight home. Had I told her how bad my body felt she probably wouldn't have left me, but as the eldest son it's my duty to put myself last. I didn't show her how weak I felt even when I was frequently vomiting I held it in while she was around. Thinking I was alright she rushed home to tend to my little sister. This I confirmed when I asked my other sister if she was there.

She said sent me a message saying she would come back. But it was raining hard. It was deep into the night and I felt something bad could happen if she came such a long way just to stay with me. Although very reluctant and weak I asked her not to come and that I would be fine. She said "Thank you for understanding and I love you". Shortly after I kept sneezing, with every sneeze a lot of blood rushed out of my head and the doctors had to inject a few Vials of paracetamol because my fever was at around 40.5 degrees. My platelets were down and I felt I was crashing down. They were considering transfusion but I said I didn't need it, I had a legal waiver but I thought it was relieving to receive a friendly message even at such a painful trial.

Remembering what she said, I closed my eyes and told myself I would be alright. I came out fine, I felt good just remembering how she told me she loved me for the first time in a very long time. even if it wasn't in person, I think it was enough. Most of the time Pain is just a passing thing, whatever good we can take we should, life doesn't last long and neither do trials. My fever went down a few days after, although rather lonely at the hospital I learned to make the best out of my agonizing situation and as an elder brother, I had to set an example even when I was coughing up blood, Pain doesn't equal love, but that doesn't make it above finding even the slightest happiness. I may be selfish but I'm not that Selfish or heartless, I'm glad I have simple joys, otherwise that simple message would never have given me any strength at all.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Retrospection: When It Rains...

 By: Why Bee

Have you ever had nights when you want to write the saddest things, listen to the most depressing songs and just get things out of your chest? When it rains they say it pours, but what do you do when there is no shelter from that rain? Who do you turn to when there is nothing left? What do you do when the people you rely on the most are gone and the rain won't stop pouring?

I was confined for a whole week at a Hospital in my home province. I had pneumonia and Pulmonary edema it was nothing compared to the situation my Ward-mates had. Over the course of my long and uncomfortable stay, I shared the ward with many a sick people. Many of who had perpetually sad eyes and equally downing stories. One man I shared the room with was suffering from stomach aches saying he hasn't defecated in four days. The doctors were going to look into him which would cost a lot of money.

He was a lonely middle-aged man from Matatalaib in Tarlac, his Ex-Wife came by to see him and so did some of his children. One as I recall came all the way from La Union, she was a Lesbian and didn't seem to have much concern, then again, who am I to judge anyone? Instead of cheering him up, one of his children asked him "Do you have money to pay for your operation?". Apparently, he didn't have any insurance. "I have money at the bank!" He answered bitterly. They exchanged a short and seemingly heated conversation. I was thinking to myself. One day, when I have kids, how should I treat them that I won't one day end up like that poor man. He spent most of the time alone in pain without much comfort from family or friends.

I wanted to ask him how he ended up in his situation, broken family and all, but I thought it would be intruding into his private life. At that time there was but two of us in the ward. My younger sibling caught a fever so my mother had to go home and I spent nights alone at the hospital that way I didn't have anyone to tell me not to stand up or walk around too much so I got to chat with my Ward-Mates. There was only one bed in our midst and from where I was he seemed like he had the world on his shoulders. I politely inquired how much he estimated the stay would cost him all in all, I recall him saying something at above P.25, 000. I wanted to ask him who would shoulder his expenses but from where I stood and based on what his children said to him the night before, It doesn't take a smart person to know he was pretty much on his own.

I felt sorry for him, as he was being taken to the ICU a lonely man, I don't recall seeing him again, I sort of wish I had the right words to say then and there to somehow ease his pain, but there are things we just can't do for other people. My youngest ward mate was around 19 years old, he met an accident with his elder cousin and friend, he seemed happy though, having many visitors and support from his family. It was relieving to see new blood in the ward. With the amount of old people I had as company, I was beginning to feel ancient.

He didn't stay for that long though, it was just about three days. I had returned to a lonely state with no one to talk to. I was tormented by such boredom that I resorted to playing Solitaire on a deck of cards I asked my mom to buy before leaving me at the hospital. I do not want to play solitaire again! the mere thought of shuffling the cards gives me head-aches.

I experienced relatives crying over a patient who's in a really tight situation. There was a Diabetic who needed emergency dialysis, his mother was crying and I felt a bit nervous for him. The lights went out because of a power-out, this was cause for equipment to stop working for some time although there were generators. Apparently, that short amount of time was all it took to put him in a grievous situation. I was rather lonely too. I had no one visiting me but at least I realized that other people around me had far bigger reasons to grieve and feel bad. They took the patient to the Intensive Care Unit and this time I was alone in the Ward.

It usually rained during my stay at the hospital. I felt sleepy most of the time, I had a lot of antibiotics and painful medication injected into my body. The next person transferred into the ward had Arthritis and needed Dialysis too. His relatives were fun people, I had such a good time with them, sharing stories, I recall the patient being a member of the Cabildo family. Not that I'm a sadist but It felt really funny to see how he seemed like someone with either Narcolepsy or Hypersomnia. The Nurses would extract blood from his veins and he'd fall asleep in between extractions. He even asked the nurses for their names and his wife said "What? You can still recognize beautiful girls in your state??" She laughs it off and so do the nurses.

Image credit: Annie Trinidad

After his Dialysis, he wanted to sit so his wife helped him up, but he didn't make it to the chair and instead sat on the floor, he looked so relieved and relaxed that the request was to be left there despite the nurses and Doctor's urging to help him up. They were such a sweet couple that I forgot how I was alone in the first place. Shortly after I was released from the hospital. I learned that no matter how out of place I may feel,humans have and adaptive trait that allows us to survive wherever we are or whoever we are with at that point in time. I learned that the world isn't on our shoulders to bear, a lot of people have bigger problems than I and I'm alive, that in itself, is an umbrella in the unending rain - the will to live on doesn't have to come from other people as long as we know how to save love for ourselves.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Flower Pictures

Image credit: Brian Elevado

How to Make Your Ex Boyfriend Want You Back If He Suffered a Lot When You Broke Up

If you love someone you don’t usually go around breaking their hearts. If you truly love your boyfriend, you would not want to break his heart into pieces. This is applicable especially if you are not sure if you still have feelings for him. If you have broken up with him and suddenly realized you love him after all, then you would like to know how to make your ex boyfriend want you back.

The first thing to do is to ask him for his forgiveness and another chance to mend your mistake. Show your determination to get him back in your life by knowing all ways on how to make your ex boyfriend want you back. You have to accept your wrong decision and vow to correct your mistakes. Remind him of the happy moments you had together. One basic tip on how to make your ex boyfriend want you back is to show how worthy you are of his love. Change your bad attitude that had turned him off is one way on how to make your ex boyfriend want you back or how to make your boyfriend want you back.  
Image credit: Brian
Show your desire to get him back

Know sweet things to say to your boyfriend during times like this. This would show your desire to get him back. How to make your ex boyfriend want you back requires that you show that you are still interested in him. If you want to catch his attention, you can change your enhance your looks by visiting a parlor. Improving your physical appearance is one simple way on how to make your ex boyfriend want you back.
Maintain a strong relationship

Always evaluate your relationship and change for the better. Consider all the mistakes and make a conscious effort to mend your ways. How to make your ex boyfriend want you back can be crucial if you just keep prodding on without any direction. You should also give space to each other. When you know the effective techniques of how to make your boyfriend want you back, you would be able to maintain a strong relationship as soon as you get back together. 

Learn how to make your ex boyfriend want you back so that you would be able to make him back to you even after his heartaches. You should also know cute things to say to your boyfriend so that he’ll know you’re serious in asking him back. Listen to the advice of friends and family members as well so your techniques on how to make your ex boyfriend want you back would prove effective.

Love is a word, which means sharing and caring sincerely for someone. If you love and are loved in return, it can bring you happiness in life. Knowing how to make your ex boyfriend want you back, would pave the way toward your reconciliation and a second chance. How to make your ex boyfriend want you back means accepting him as a whole person and making sure that he does not suffer the same pain he suffered before in your hands.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Loving You, The Most Effective Way on How To Get Your Boyfriend To Want You Back

When break ups happen, the first thing that you would do is to think of how to get your ex boyfriend to want you back or how to get your boyfriend to want you back strategies and techniques. Some even go to the extent of utilizing unorthodox practices. There are millions of couples breaking up every day and the same number reconciling. The couples or one of the couples may have at some point made use of how to get your ex boyfriend to want you back strategies. It is not a taboo but it might backfire on you if you do not do it properly or when you over do it. With the increasing number of break ups, there is also a corresponding increase of demands for strategies on how to get your boyfriend to want you back.
This prompted the business minded people to launch programs and counseling on how to get your ex boyfriend to want you back. Thus, thousands of advices are available on the internet but mind you there is one critical factor that is relegated to the sidelines that some advisers tend to take for granted. That is whether your boyfriend still loves you or not? Before you launch your how to get your boyfriend to want you back scheme, you need to know if he still loves you. This is the most important factor that you must consider in your plan to get him back. How to find out is another concern you need to face. There are several ways on how you can determine that.

No amount of how to get your boyfriend to want you back techniques and strategies can get him back to you if he doesn’t love you anymore. No matter if these are claimed to be the most powerful ways on how to get your ex boyfriend to want you back.  He needs to be in loved with you to make him go back to you. If he doesn’t, then don’t waste your time. You may be successful in getting him back but believe it lady, he won’t stay.  You cannot force your boyfriend to love you when he can’t feel love for you. You will be fighting a fruitless war. Love cannot be forced. It has to grow from within him on its own. 

Here are some simple ways to determine if your boyfriend still loves you.

·         If he maintains an open line of communication between the two of you, in most cases it’s because he may still want you.

·         Take notice of the inconsequential things that he does  like he takes your hands while crossing a busy street, tells you a news before telling others and many more.
·         If he talks of his time with you unconsciously.

That major factor on how to get your ex boyfriend to want you back or how to get your boyfriend to want you back is he  still LOVES YOU. As earlier discussed, every action that you make in your attempt to get your boyfriend back is futile if he doesn’t feel any love for you anymore. In that case, you are better off to let go and move on. If you continue to expect him to go back to you, you are putting yourself to more pain and hurt. This may lead you to bitterness towards relationships and that is not a good thing to happen.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Spotless White Flower

How to Make Your Ex Boyfriend Want You Back If He is in Love with Your Best friend

Having your boyfriend fall in love with your best friend is one of the most catastrophic even that could happen to a relationship. This consolation only is that you know already know who your enemy is. Don’t blame your boyfriend and your best friend. Instead try to find a means on how to make your ex boyfriend want you back. Try to understand them. This does not mean however that you are giving up on your relationship. You still have to learn how to make your ex boyfriend want you back. To help you in this quest, here are recommended methods you can adapt.
Act in a civil manner
If you still want your boyfriend back, be civil about it. Do it in a nice way.  Being calm and composed on how to make your ex boyfriend want you back is the sanest thing to do. Don’t throw a tantrum and don’t confront them angrily. This is not supportive of your quest on how to make your ex boyfriend want you back.  
Talk to him and know what went wrong
Since you and your boyfriend had been together in the past, this indicates that he you might not have been there for him when he needed you.  Try to get into the root of what happened. If you want to know how to make your ex boyfriend want you back, you have to examine yourself and your relationship. Talk to him and learn sweet things to say to your boyfriend so you could soften the impact of your conversation. You may want to know if he still loves you too.

Talk to your bestfriend

You could also talk to your best friend to know the truth and why she had done that to you. She may have already regretted what she did, so don’t pick a fight. Be civil and conciliatory. Learning how to make your ex boyfriend want you back can be tricky because you have to control your emotions. You may want to spend time together with your ex boyfriend as a way on how to make your boyfriend want you back.  

Don’t give up easily

Don’t give up easily. Try to save your relationship by using effective ways on how to make your ex boyfriend want you back or how to make your boyfriend want you back. Let him know that you still love him and you want him back in your life.

Use your charm

Use your charm and simultaneously apply some steps on how to make your ex boyfriend want you back. When you show your kindness and faithfulness, your boyfriend will realize that he is one lucky guy. You have to be dedicated on your goal of how to make your ex boyfriend want you back.  If he sees that he has now your attention, he may come back to you. He may have done that with your best friend just to make you aware of him. He might have felt neglected.  Letting him know that you love him with all your heart would increase your chances of success on how to make your ex boyfriend want you back.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Mental Telepathy: A Way On How To Get Your Boyfriend To Want You Back

Break ups happen every day and so does reconciliation. But reconciliation cannot take place if you do not have an inkling on how to get your ex boyfriend to want you back or how to get your boyfriend to want you back. There has to be a detailed means on how to go about it to increase your chances of achieving your goal. You probably have seen so many methods and ways on how to get your boyfriend to want you back by now. You must have read about the “no-contact”, self-development and having confidence techniques. But it seems you are not satisfied with what you have seen so far. If you are, you wouldn’t be reading this.

Here is one technique that works on how to get your ex boyfriend to want you back.  The effectiveness of the technique depends largely on how you do it. Telepathy or mental telepathy is the transfer of thoughts or feeling from one person to another without the use of any sensory channel or physical interaction. How do you use this on how to get your boyfriend to want you back? Some people do not believe that telepathy works but there are many experiments done on this and they revealed that indeed mental telepathy works.

Everyone possesses telepathic communication skill but fades away because it’s not being used. You need to practice telepathy to be able to read your boyfriend’s mind. It means without him knowing you can read his thoughts. Through this, you will know what he is thinking about your relationship that he cannot tell you. Your boyfriend may not want to hurt you further by telling you honestly why he broke up. The break up may be because of something in you that he doesn’t like but cannot tell in your face. By using telepathy you can be able to learn.

You can also communicate your feelings or emotions right now by using telepathic communication. Tell him you want him back. That you feel so lousy after your break up. You love him so much and wouldn’t want him out of your life. Open up your soul to him provided you know how to use mental telepathy. This could greatly help you on how to get your boyfriend to want you back or how to get your ex boyfriend to want you back.

If you don’t know how to use telepathy here are ways on how to practice your telepathic abilities.

  • Get a partner to practice with. It has to be someone interested to do the same thing.
  • Come up with a goal. Make it simple like color. Identify who is the receiver and transmitter between the two of you. Then the transmitter will think of the color and try to communicate that to you. When you can tell the color that the transmitter has communicated to you, the activity is a success
  • Move on to a more complex though. You need to pen down on a paper what that thought is. Let your partner do the same. Both of you need to concentrate so that the transmitter can send the message and the receiver receives it. If you fail, do not force it. Do it again some other time.
  • Do not overdo it. It will tire your mind and when the mind is tired, it cannot function well. Keep doing if more often until you are good at it.
Mental telepathy as a way on how to get your ex boyfriend to want you back and how to get your boyfriend to want you back is an effective way. It may not be easy but it’s worth the efforts, provided you know how to do it.  As earlier mentioned in the discussion, you need practice if you want to master the art of telepathy. You don’t need to find out if you have them, all people have it. It’s just a matter of using it with proper practice. This technique on how to get your ex boyfriend to want you back or how to get your boyfriend to want you back must be done with care to get the desired effect.