I wish I meant something

Image credit: Brian Elevado

 

By: Ajchtar

If I could prove it to you, is there a chance you’d believe me? If I could somehow make you believe me, would you accept it? I haven’t much to say to you, I know it’s my fault. I don’t have much to offer you; all I can do is hope. I’m not one to make reasons, but you know I’d never hurt you on purpose. Time passes by so slowly, even when it’s been so long. I see how happy you are without me but I will always see you through; I hope you keep it up. I can’t even begin to say how bad it feels to know I mean so little, I’m not even worth your time. I won’t talk back to you, just let it all out.

                You were once so warm to me, now you won’t even look at me.  With ignoring ears you evade me. With judging eyes you bring me down. If I knew how to make it up to you I would. My chest heaves with the pain of this punishment. My eyes burn from the many tears they gave up. I know I should find new friends, but I’m an outcast, unlike you. You had many others, all I had was you. Real friendship is scarce, and I thought you were true. By good times you have friends; through mistakes you see the only ones that are true.

                 Have you ever felt this way? To be shattered when you’re broken, to be laughed at when you’re down. You say I’m a traitor, but what I did was for your own sake. Bad friends will consent you, I tried to help but I lost you. You own yourself and I can’t dictate on how your life should go, I can only hope you’ll listen when I say what I think is right. I didn’t want to see you drunk; you’re too young for that. My methods were wrong; I have faults, could you at least admit yours?

                  You call them friends, do you know what they say when you’re not around? You call me a bastard, but I do things for your sake. It’s a funny thing how people can forget all the good someone has ever done the one time they make a mistake. I was a fool to believe that kindness came like charity, you only proved me wrong. Time has made weaker and with each day my hate grows stronger and my anger burns with the sight of you. I’m not mad at you, In fact I wish I was with you, I hate myself for letting you down and my anger is for anyone that influences you with vices. 

          Even now, I think only of your sake. If you understood what it was to sacrifice then you could have seen I did what I Had to. Now I feel like a rag on the floor, waiting in front of your heart’s door.  I know I mean nothing but I wish that if I was ever anything to you you’d understand that the only reason I did that to you was because I was a true friend. It’s alright, I know you’ll be fine, but I’ll be here if you need me. Sometimes love is a pain, but the even bigger pain is knowing you didn’t do anything to see it through and in your heart you realize you had a chance and that you should never let it go. A True friend is not worth any treasure, they're PRICELESS.